Dear readers
How can I possibly describe my arrival in France?  Although I am from tiny part of the world in the Indian Ocean, I always felt French, part of a nation, a history, a revolution but unfortunately the welcome in France Metropolis on 6th September 2002 was very cold. I felt lost, disoriented to the point that I felt that I lost my identity, my passion and my vocation of speaking several languages and my goal to travel around the world.

When I fell in love with someone from my island soon after arriving, I thought I was somehow blessed because he had lived in France for 3 years because he would understand and help me to adapt. Big, huge mistake, one the biggest mistakes I have ever made in my entire life!

I never understood before why people say love is blind and stupid, Lord I learned the hard way that it is. Although I can say now that what I am about to share with you has forged my character and strengthened my will to change people’s perception about a woman from Mayotte. I am very grateful to have experienced what I have experienced so far because it allows me to speak my mind using my own knowledge on the topic of polygamy, to sympathize and understand women married to polygamists.

I must admit that from the beginning of that relationship, I had some convincing signs to predict that it was doomed to failure or would face some serious challenges. I do not want to dwell on that relationship but it is worth drawing evidence from something to illustrate my arguments.

I met my ex, let’s call him B through a childhood friend who had only positive things to say about him. It should be noted that B was the president of the association of mahorais students in Montpellier, known as the AEMM. B had supported and helped hundreds of students and was idolized and worshiped by many people. It was love at first sight and we became inseparable. He took me everywhere. Having said that, here is a piece of evidence that the alarm bells should have rung as B never introduced me as his girlfriend. He was saying exactly who I was, where I came from in Mayotte, the type of studies undertaken, but not once during that euphoric period did he mention that there was a love relationship. Being very shy at the time and not wanting to draw attention to me, it suited me a little so I closed my eyes.
October 2002, first meeting to welcome new Mahorais students. As a member, I could see the president in action first hand. He presided the meeting with tact, controlled the crowd with dexterity. It is worth pointing out that one needs to have nerves of steel to control a mahorais crowd. I admired him, I imagined spending the rest of my life with such a courageous, valiant man who shares the same ambitions as me to make a difference within our community.
The relationship was so fusional that I decided to introduce B to one of my best friends who we will call W.  They say that if you want to know if your love relationship is going to last, you need to ask a friend’s opinion. W knew B as president of AEMM but not as a friend’s boyfriend. W liked him a lot because she thought that we were made for each intellectually and she saw how happy I was  as a result W approved the relationship.
I shared my joy, my happiness with the people I knew in Montpellier including a girl who W and I knew from high school in Mamoudzou . It turns out that that girl that we will call C , was also new in Montpellier, already knew B via the AEMM and had become very close with my friend W. Although we were not friends, C also approved my relationship with B, she approved it to such an extent that she often made remarks like « I do not understand the critics towards B, how can anyone hate someone like B? He is generous, kind and very open-minded.  » At the time, I completely agreed with her comments but I can now say with confidence and conviction that my ex never does anything by accident.  He calculates and manipulates everyone around him to achieve his professional or personal goals . If he must be kind, generous, attentive, or if he must be dominating, ruthless to get what he wants, he will do it without any hesitation or scruples.  In retrospect, I understood  his « opponents » comments were totally justified and grounded.
The adoration and adulation of C towards B grew every day and they spent more and more time together. It turns out that they had one thing in common namely the Mahorais culture. They knew the same songs or artists such as Tama Music or Viking and were both in favour of polygamy.
Ladies and gentlemen I say loud and clear polygamy is a pure man’s invention to dominate women and we will have the opportunity on this blog to deal with this stupid and incoherent invention. I cannot believe that nowadays in 21st century that they dare justify such system and they dare justify it invoking the shortage of men on the island.
Let’s continue my own experience with a polygamist man. C and B initiated a « secret » relationship in parallel with mine and B. C had at some point some remorse and decided to confess she was in love with B and that she did not know what to do with her feelings for him. The worst revelation was when she confessed that the feelings were reciprocated. I will remember all my life that evening of confession. At first, I applauded her courage and reassured her that we would find a solution. Then the next day, I rushed to the phone booth (and yes, I did not have a mobile phone) to call B who was on holiday with his brothers in the north of France. I asked him one and only question: is it reciprocal? B’s answer was very convincing. Silly me, I had forgotten that my dear ex was studying media and communication so of course that his answer was going to be convincing. This was the answer: Zaina, I love you and I do not know what she is talking about. You sincerely think that I will be with you if my feelings for her were reciprocal? Do not worry I’ll talk to her and everything will work out, trust me ». With such a convincing answer, I unfortunately trusted him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and gave him permission to destroy me for a year and a half.

B had found the ideal life balance: he had 2 women with different character traits. A traditional woman, submissive and ready to accept everything including his infidelities (C) and a rebellious, ambitious woman and tolerant of any infidelity i.e me. B liked the fact that I was ambitious and used it to his advantage. B now journalist in Mayotte had grammatical difficulties with the language of Moliere and with my A levels specialised in French literature, I was the perfect candidate to correct his mistakes. When B began a second master’s degree to specialize in journalism, English was not his forte and the woman suitable for this mission was again me because I studied a degree specialised in foreign languages. Depending on the mission, he would favour one of us to serve his interests. The ideal candidate to promote Mahorais culture and traditions in general was C because she loved to show the whole world how much she knew how to cook typical meals. He loved to praise her talents as a good dancer of mbiwi or any other traditional dances. B was entirely right not to count on me for that side because I didn’t  even know how to wear the traditional garment, or dance because I dedicated my spare time as a teenager reading  books and I had never worn traditional clothing. On the other hand, I knew how to cook some dishes but I couldn’t never show that I could because would not allow anyone to cook. If I am not sure about a traditional dish or unfamiliar with the recipe, I always ask my mum, my current partner can testify!

B hated my rebellious side and did everything in power to shut it up. Public criticism eg: « I cannot believe you are a mahoraise, you do not know how to wear traditional clothing, only white people suffer from stress not someone who lived and grew up in Mayotte ». Private Critic: What are you going to do when you are graduate in foreign applied languages? How can you possibly complain about painful period after you have had them for years? You should be used it by now ».
He almost became violent with me when I disagreed with him, but he never acted on it because he knew that it might tarnish his image as president and, above all, he knew that my friends, my cousin and my family, living an hour and a half from Montpellier, would find out and fight back.
This infernal situation lasted more than a year. The longest year of my life. I had put on 10 kilos, I felt very lonely, fragile and very weak although my friends supported me during that period. A rumor circulated throughout Montpellier that I was preventing B and C from living their relationship openly, that literally killed me. Not only did I have to live with a humiliation of accepting that I was involved in a triangular relationship but knowing that that rumour ciriculated and I chose to stay regardless. The worst part is that I knew deep down that it was happening but my ex never ceased telling me that I had to be strong and fight for him. He told me that he loved me and that all these rumors about his secret relationship were unfounded. I blamed myself for feeling weak and not finding the power within me to leave. It hurt to see my friend C’s  disappointment of W. She kept using those terms to « wake up, you are not submissive person, the Zaina that I know will never accept a triangular relationship, you are a lot stronger than you think, don’t worry there will be a time when you will know what to do”. I felt guilty to disappoint W who despite all the rumors, had consciously chosen to stay by my side and paid the consequences with me. Unfortunately, the process of recovery was very long. Another person played a fundamental role in my recovery, another very faithful friend who will be called N and who often used this expression to encourage me « whatever happens, tomorrow the sun will always rise ». N had lived a similar relationship in Mayotte and had told me how she had survived and had deviated from the traditions but I don’t think that at a time she realised that she challenged the whole society when she ended her relationship. Even though I had the unconditional support of two friends, we faced a community of about fifty people who criticized and marginalized us. I was angry with seeing W and N isolated but they were not afraid of not being part of this community. According to them, that community was not theirs because it was unable to change or adapt in France. My girls gave me confidence me  but I was still ashamed to assume my choices so much so that I marginalised myself for months and only went out to buy food and especially to buy some Dannettes, good god I ate so much junk!  Today I still cannot eat Dannettes or any mousse desert like because it reminds me of this very painful period of my life. A period symbolizing abandonment of  my dreams, my ambitions as I stopped going to university for a month. B knew that I was not going to the university buthe never encouraged or motivated me to go because it suited him for me to be weak and vulnerable. One morning, I found the energy and the courage to get ready and dressed, it was a struggle to find anything that could fit me because with 10 kilos, all my clothes were too small. I managed to find a pair of trousers that was about my size even though I had some trouble breathing in it. Uncomfortable physically and psychologically, I decided to walk to the campus to attend a microeconomics course. On the way, I met my dearest ex and his best friend and he made the following comment: « Ah, you have not forgotten the way to go to college”. I continue walking but instead of going to my microeconomics course that day, I went to the Shoppi supermarket to buy more Danettes and sparkling desserts. By not attending my courses and not fulfilling  the minimum required at college, it was obvious that I was not going to  successful pass y my second year in Applied Foreign Languages. Devastated, depressed, humiliated, tired of fighting every day to keep a man who mistreated me and disappointed with my own actions, I had touched the bottom and wanted only one thing: to disappear from the surface of the earth.

What does one usually do when they touch the very bottom? Of course, call mum and dad for rescue. I called my poor mother crying and my poor mum who is 10 thousand miles away from France was extremely worried. I felt even more guilty and didn’t have the heart to tell her the real reason I was crying. My father being polygamist, my poor mother knew exactly how I was feeling, and I know how much she had suffered from it and is still suffering from the legal infidelities of my father.  I kept crying but I lied to her and told her that  real reason I was in such terrible state was because I had  failed my exams. As a reassuring and devoted mother, here is what is said: « Darling, it’s normal; you live in a foreign country so you need a little bit more time to adapt but I am sure that you have done your very best. Moreover, your academic career is impressive but you are only human and you have the right to have some moments of weaknesses. I know that you will recover, you will see it with god’s help.  » My wonderful mum was right, my “rebellions” side   started to resurface. I decided to break up with B and devote myself to my studies. The minute I “woke up” I multiplied the visits to the university’s library. Bearing in mind that I missed one month worth of courses, I had a lot of catch up to do to be at the same level as my colleagues in less than 2 months before taking my final exams. Thank God, I « woke up » at the right time to apply for the European student exchange in Spain knowing as Erasmus. My application was accepted and 6 months later, I was ready to move in the Canary Islands more precisely in Tenerife. I was about to realize one of my dreams to live and study in Spain, I was on top of the world!
Even though I had put an end to my relationship with B, our relationship remained civilized and I continued to help him with his studies, I must admit that I still had feelings for him when we broke up until one sweet day and beautiful day in summer day 2004, a real turning point!
On the eve of that beautiful day I was in the process of revising for a management exam and B unexpectedly came knocking at my door asking me to go over to his place because he needed help. Not completely convinced of his intentions, we went to his flat prepare for our respective exams. I must confess that even if B had done lot of harm, I still believed in his success and encouraged him to get his dream job, namely journalist. In my opinion, the more qualified people are, the better chances the island will have move in the right direction so I put « our differences » aside and helped him as much I could ie I corrected his articles or translated the ones writing in English. That night, we only devoted ourselves to our studies and in the space of one night, I thought that B had perhaps changed. My God no! The next day was a totally different story. 11 am the following morning, someone rang the doorbell.  I was in front of the computer reading and correcting his article, B in front of his American kitchen doing the dishes, scene never seen before! B being near the door, I asked him to answer the door but he refused, which I found extremely strange! I insisted and B finally went down to see who rang the doorbell. He came upstairs and said that it was F, the neighbor next door and a compatriot from Mayotte. But B’s mood had suddenly changed and he looked very tense. Seeing him in that state of mind, I asked him innocently what was wrong and what F wanted. He became angry and broke a plate on the floor, seeing him in that state and not being technically in relationship, I packed my books and decided to leave to continue my revisions at home. B became even angrier and prevented me from leaving and during our altercation, I saw who was at the door a few minutes before, it was obviously C! That’s why B was in a bad mood. The poor man double booked himself as he had forgotten that he had an appointment with C to take her shopping. I was speechless, shocked and I felt once again manipulated but the difference this time is that I knew that he would never the opportunity to manipulate to do it again. That day I promised myself to set myself free from that unhealthy and toxic relationship but before saying farewell to him forever I need to get a few of things off my chest such as: I cannot believe that a man as intelligent as you can be weak enough to give in an archaic and obsolete tradition.

How could you hurt me? Your father is polygamist and you have seen how he treated your own mother.  He was never present for you, your younger brother and sister because of that, how is this possible? B had no answer but his anger increased even more and he did something incredible and very coward. He went down to ask C to come up to settle things as we do in Mayotte with the rivals. I’m ashamed of it today, but I did settle things down the way we do it in my island. For my defense, I had an opportunity to “ empty my bag’ as we say in French then I could move on once and for all. I have moved on but I will never forget what they did to me for a year and a half. I do not want to play the victim because I was playing a game I did not know the rules. They never had the guts to assume their relationship in public or in front of me, and if they had a little bit of dignity, they would not have had to « hide » their feelings because they knew they were doing something wrong. They dared to accuse me during the confrontation they had told me, liars! C had confessed her feelings but B denied his feelings towards her.

That experience taught me a lot about our Mahorais society. There are some educated Mahorais who live abroad and reproduce a « mini mahorais society » with old, archaic and obsolete customs and traditions. Some educated and intelligent men use traditions to perpetuate their power, to dominate women and make them that they have no choice other accepting traditions.

I am now aware that I had a lucky escape by breaking with B, then managed to follow my dreams whereas poor C was convinced that she had hit the Jackpot with B, who according to her, was a man of high calibre.  Soon after our break up, B also broke up with C because she was no longer needed, the right balance was no longer there.  After the horrible rejection, C was desperate enough to come in my student accommodation to “make up” because he hurt us both therefore there was no need for us to continue fighting.  C paid the ultimate humiliation price as B married her next door neighbour in Mayotte, ouch!

Such long story shared to reinforce the need to break free from obsolete rules and traditions. Believe me, it is hard to be hated, despised by people from the same community as me but I refused and I still refuse to live according to other people’s rules.

Dear Readers

At the age of 6, I thought that writing was my my vocation but during my teenage years, when boybands and renowned singers such as Mariah Careh or Whitney Houston were incredibly popular, I foolish thought that singing would be my new vocation then that vocation rapidly vanished when I realized that I could hardly sing. In high school, I thought I was destined for a career that was deemed « serious » in my eyes and respected by all so I chose to become a lawyer. However, during an intervention by a lawyer in my high school who stated any lawyers in France can be assigned any cases within their areas of expertise and they were only allowed to refuse cases 3 times in their whole career, which means they must defend any client to their best of their abilities regardless of the crimes or whether they are guilty or not. Alarm bells rang that day, law was not for me as I know myself too well to know I would not able to defend a client knowing they are guilty of having committed atrocities. Despite the opinion changes concerning my career choices, there is one passion that has never left me. Whatever the career, the vocation of the time, there was this little voice telling me constantly that I have got to participate actively in the development of my island Mayotte and to ensure that all citizens, men and women are treated with respect and dignity.
During a recent and brief stay in Mayotte, I noticed the changes that occurred in Mayotte in few years. Some of them were positive, such as the modernization of the island’s infrastructure, visible and appreciated cleanliness, modern roads, a high percentage of people with access to education, and increased household incomes. However, the status and image of the woman had hardly changed in my opinion. Women are still second-class citizens, even though they are the ones who succeeds at school the most in the island. In spite of that, they still live in the shadow of men for fear of being isolated. The oppression of women in the society is rather sadistic and discouraging for all women who would be tempted to claim a little bit freedom and respect. The weapons used to prevent women from being emancipated are rather terrifying i.e very little or no social life. Bearing in mind that Mayotte is still a very community based society,  people will make a point of not inviting anyone who goes against the culture therefore those people will not be invited to any social or religious manifestations such as weddings, celebration of any religious activities and Ramadan being the biggest one.

The island is full of contradictions, Why? Because it is a society dominated by women (matriarchal society), who are responsible for the entire education of children, who dominate election campaigns to elect any politicians but who isolate other women for defying traditions.

I am not pointing the finger at Mayotte necessary because whatever the society modern or traditional, parity between men and women is non-existent but the only difference is that in  Europe for instance the gap is starting to be reduced. It seems that in European societies there is an understanding and acceptance that there is a problem and that it must be remedied, that is the main difference! The aim of my blog is not to stigmatize people, but to understand and to start a debate on how we as citizens of the world can help build better societies and communities.
I must admit that I have an unheard-of opportunity to have unconditional support from my parents to receive an education that would allow me to choose my path, my career and above all not to depend on a man. I hope that by sharing my story, my experience, my misadventures, it will inspire men and women to move things in the right direction to achieve equality of opportunity for all.

I have been waiting this moment all my life. The moment when I will be able to express myself without fear of retaliation and I can finally say loud and clear: I am a woman from Mayotte and I managed to fulfill some of my ambitions, I am saying some because there are more ambitions to achieve and challenges to be overcome every day.

My life is far from perfect, it is normal because I am only a human being but I have achieved things that were way beyond my expectations. I am multilingual, I have a master in Negotiation of International Projects, I have successfully passed my driving license in England (where people drive in the opposite direction of most countries) then I bought my very first car with my own money.  I have a very fulfilling professional career as I get to travel and meet extraordinary people and I am blessed to have found the most extraordinary man of my life and I am surrounded by loyal friends and family, which helps tremendously to have the drive to surpass my current and future goals.

Très Chers lecteurs

Dans mon rôle précédent et actuel, je fais passer beaucoup d’entretiens d’emploi et beaucoup de mes candidats m’affirment souvent être des perfectionnistes, ce que j’aime entendre en tant qu’employeur parce que je suis confiante que ces personnes ne me laisseront presque jamais tomber jusqu’à ce que le travail soit accompli. Cependant en tant qu’être humain bien constitué, je m’inquiète pour ces personnes car elles risquent de mettre leur santé mentale en danger pour atteindre les objectifs que je leur ai fixés, pourquoi ? Parce que je connais pertinemment le prix à payer pour être un perfectionniste connu sous le nom de burn-out et dépression.

Personne et je répète personne n’est parfait et personne ne devrait aspirer à l’être. Cela dit, nous devrions tous aspirer à être le meilleur de nous-même, faire de notre mieux pour faire de nos rêves une réalité, c’est largement suffisant. Selon le professeur Steve Peters, l’auteur du modèle d’esprit révolutionnaire « Le paradoxe du Chimp », notre chimpanzé (la partie héritée de notre cerveau) devient agité et perturbateur chaque fois que l’on lui fixe un objectif impossible à atteindre. Je suis consciente de cela maintenant pour en avoir payé le prix ultime deux fois d’affilé.

La première fois fut quand je travaillais chez RB entre Novembre 2013 et Octobre 2014. RB est le fabricant de Nurofen, Durex, Gaviscon, Strepsils, Veet, Clearasil parmi d’autres marques et ma mission consistait à mettre en place un service à la clientèle concernant les médicaments en vente libre, les dispositifs médicaux ainsi que les cosmétiques. On m’avait fixée un budget précis pour embaucher 4 personnes dans le but d’offrir un excellent service à la clientèle sur plus d’un millier de produits et d’aider les consommateurs par courriel, téléphone ou lettre. En outre, un tout nouveau système pour enregistrer et gérer tous les contacts client fut mis en place en même temps que la création du nouveau département. Pouvez-vous repérer l’erreur ? Un nouveau système, une toute nouvelle équipe et une seule personne expérimentée dans l’équipe  dont l’objectif était à la fois de  former et de motiver le personnel, de respecter les délais pour répondre à tous les appels, de répondre à tous les courriels et lettres dans les 48 heures et de veiller à ce que toutes les informations saisies dans le système d’enregistrement et de gestion soit 100% exactes puisque l’industrie pharmaceutique est fortement réglementée et les managers des marque et de marketing utilisent ces  informations pour mieux adapter leurs campagnes publicitaires. Inutile de dire qu’en tant que perfectionniste en récupération j’ai travaillé très dur pendant 11 mois pour mettre en place ce que je crois être mon équipe de service à la clientèle de rêve qui a réussi à passer une inspection interne visant à s’assurer que toutes les procédures standard opérationnelles ont été suivies à la lettre en sachant que les consommateurs mettent leur vie dans les mains des fabricants chaque fois qu’ils utilisent un produit cosmétique, un dispositif médical ou alors prennent des médicaments en vente libre. Je n’avais pas de vie pendant des mois en raison du manque de soutien et du manque de ressources. Je ne pouvais compter que sur moi-même et sur deux autres collègues qui m’ont permis de rester concentrée sur mes atouts c’est-à-dire motiver le personnel et d’en tirer le meilleur, de ne jamais dévier des procédures opérationnelles approuvées. Avec des ressources limitées, j’ai dû inventer un mécanisme de survie pour construire mon service idéal à la clientèle à savoir m’adapter dans n’importe quelle situation, être plus résistante, être extrêmement organisée, penser de manière créative, rester calme dans des situations difficiles et choisir les combats qui valent la peine de se battre pour, n’est-ce pas génial ? Je crains que non parce que j’ai mis mon bien-être et ma santé mentale en danger en raison du manque de sommeil et du stress permanent. Figurez-vous que je n’ai pas bien dormi pendant 4 mois ce qui fait j’étais constamment épuisé du fait des longues heures de conduite et de longues heures de travail 60 heures par semaine, ce qui dépasse le seuil légal des 48 heures. J’ai également fait face à un chantage émotionnel de la part de ma supérieur hiérarchique qui ne cessait de faire référence au nombre d’années qu’ elle a travaillé Chez RB et à quel point ils l’ont bien traitée et le pire était le  semblant de soutien de mon « partenaire d’affaires » au sein des ressources humaines qui au départ accommodé mes heures, a augmenté mon salaire pour être à la moyenne nationale, m’a payée les hôtels pour me permettre de me reposer des longues heures de conduite puis dès que l’équipe est devenue efficace et a passé l’inspection interne très difficile, je suis devenued dispensable . Tous mes prétendus privilèges, c’est-à-dire les horaires de travail flexibles et une nuit à l’hôtel pour me reposer de longues heures de conduite ont immédiatement été retirés invoquant des réductions de coûts. Avant de démissionner, je me suis battue pour que mon équipe obtiennent une augmentation de salaire de 2% parce que j’ai découvert que mon équipe et moi-même avions été dupés en termes de salaire pour être l’un des départements les moins payés, mais nous avions une mission de haute fonction étant les ambassadeurs de RB et ayant pour objectif de protéger leur image et leur réputation. Bien plus, je me suis assurée que toute la direction supérieure sache que j’ai bâti un service client superbe seule malgré toutes les difficultés, le manque de soutien et l’incompétence totale des managers régionaux du service à la clientèle. Curieusement il y a eu une redistribution de ces managers le jour de mon départ, mince j’aurais dû rester !!! Je plaisante, je suis heureuse dans mon rôle actuel vu le pouvoir que j’ai de faire une réelle différence à mon personnel et à nos clients. En outre, je n’adhère point à certaines des valeurs de mon ancien employeur, c’est-à-dire étendre la capacité de leur personnel a la limite du possible parce qu’ils croient que l’instinct de survie va se déclencher pour les aider à résoudre tous les problèmes, ce qui est vrai mais illégal ! C’est pourquoi les RH ne communiquent pas officiellement au personnel qu’ils embauchent délibérément moins de personnel qu’ils en ont besoin afin de les rendre plus résistants et de les forcer à trouver différentes méthodes de survie pour économiser de l’argent, c’est donc aux employés de connaître leurs limites et de s’arrêter quand ils ne peuvent plus suivre, c’est pourquoi j’ai déposé ma démission. J’ai toujours eu du mal à comprendre pourquoi les gens travaillent chez eux depuis si longtemps en connaissant cette méthode si horrible pour pousser leurs employés à se tuer au travail, mais après avoir pris une certaine distance et j’ai eu moment Eureka … La meilleure méthode pour obtenir la loyauté de leur personnel est totalement psychologique. Cette méthode est très efficace tellement que je la recommande à toutes les entreprises et managers en raison du principe suivant: les gens travaillent pour les gens, pas pour de l’argent! Ce n’est pas par hasard que RB propose gratuitement des boissons froides et chaudes, des fruits frais toutes les semaines, des gâteaux et du champagne pour célébrer toute occasion que ce soit des anniversaires ou alors des bons classements  de leurs site web. Ils organisent des fêtes de Noël impressionnantes dans des endroits glorieux et la cerise sur le gâteau est le congrès annuel ayant lieu dans des endroits reconnus comme destinations de fête toutes dépenses incluses. J’ai utilisé cette méthode pour créer le tout premier système de prime dans mon rôle actuel afin de récompenser l’employé du mois sur une base mensuelle en tenant compte tous les aspects de la performance, c’est-à-dire le retard, l’absence, les ventes, la contribution au sein de l’équipe et la présentation vestimentaire. L’employé du mois a l’occasion de profiter d’une journée spa ou une nuit dans un hôtel 5 étoiles, des billets de cinéma VIP enfin tout dépend d’à quel point je veux être créative !
Ma deuxième chute et dépression se sont produites quand j’ai rejoint CDK juste après mes 11 mois mouvementés chez RB. J’étais épuisée, mais c’était un nouveau départ et comme une perfectionniste en récupération mon esprit voulait tout donner à mon nouvel employeur  mais mon corps se paralysa deux fois en aout 2015 et autre fois en Juin 2016. Travailler au sein d’ une petite entreprise me donne beaucoup de  liberté d’être impliquée dans différents domaines de l’entreprise tels que les RH (embauche, formation et licenciement), la gestion de tous les aspects des ventes, je n’aime même pas la  vente en général , mais apparemment je suis assez bonne dans ce domaine! Je suis également impliquée dans le marketing traditionnel et numérique, la logistique, le soutien à la clientèle, le soutien informatique, les comptes, la budgétisation pour le profit enfin bon je suis certaine que vous avez compris ! Mon métier est génial, extrêmement gratifiant, enrichissant et stimulant, mais mon Dieu qu’est-ce que c’est épuisant mentalement et physiquement ! Je me suis mise sous beaucoup de pression pour prendre soin de tous ces domaines et pour accomplir toutes les tâches qui leur sont attachées parfaitement même quand je n’ai pas l’expérience dans beaucoup d’entre eux. Tout être humain « normal » se serait reposé avant de prendre un tel rôle et aurait su qu’il était impossible de batir une équipe de vente performante et cohérente ainsi que créer une fonction RH, d’aider à l’exportation de nos marques tout en étant la parfaite épouse qui nettoie, cuisine et a l’air superbe tous les jours. J’ai encore du mal à l’assimiler et l’accepter que j’ai souffert d’une grave dépression.

Certaines personnes vont être choquées et surprises de découvrir cela ici, mais je partage mon expérience dans le but premier de vous exhorter à prendre soin de vous et à mettre vos besoins avant les besoins de quiconque que ce soit un ami, un membre de la famille, un collègue, un employé ou même un employeur. J’étais sérieusement en danger de me faire du mal pendant 6 mois parce que je pensais que j’étais une moins que rien, que je n’étais pas assez belle, pas assez soucieuse, pas assez intelligente et j’avais l’impression d’avoir déçue tout le monde autour de moi commençant par mes parents, mes collaborateurs, mes amis, mon frère Abdou qui me met sur un pied d’éstal.  J’avais honte d’en parler à qui que ce soit d’autre autre que mon compagnon.  Le pauvre n’y pouvait rien mis à part me conseiller de voir un thérapeute, ce que j’ai fait pendant 6 semaines. J’avais honte d’être complètement honnête avec un professionnel et je me sentais coupable de dépenser beaucoup d’argent pour le voir une fois par semaine c’est pourquoi j’ai arrêté de le voir. A l’heure où je suis en train d’écrire cet article, je dois avouer que cela m’a fait du bien de partager certains de mes problèmes avec un hypno- thérapeute puisqu’ il a repéré une tendance malsaine à toujours vouloir être bonne à tout et il m’a dit de ne pas être si dure avec moi-même quand les choses ne vont pas comme prévu parce que c’est la vie. Lors d’un jeu de rôle avec lui, j’ai identifié qui mon véritable ennemi et mon meilleur ami sont … Moi-même ! J’ai aussi établi ou se trouve mon refuge à savoir l’endroit où je me sens en sécurité indépendamment de ce qui se passe, mes copines Moitsou et Chariffa. J’ai immédiatement réservé un billet pour leur rendre visite à Montpellier. J’ai passé les trois premières semaines de janvier à pleurer, à rire, à lire des livres d’auto-apprentissage, à méditer, à écrire mes pensées sur mon bloc note Carpe Diem, à danser, à manger, à faire les magasins, à me rappeler et à analyser les rêves que j’avais quand j’étais jeune. Je suis a également rendue chez médecin de 14 ans qui a diagnostiqué que mon état mental était assez inquiétant pour me prescrire des antidépresseurs, que j’ai pris religieusement pendant 3 mois. 3 mois plutard, j’ai l’impression de naitre une deuxième fois et je me sens assez bien pour partager mes moments de solitude et de douleurs en détails avec plus d’amis qui, comme des amis bienveillants m’offrent le soutien et ont quelques mots d’encouragements et motivants tels que : Tu es une femme déterminée, ambitieuse, belle, dynamique, drôle, généreuse, énergétique, consciencieuse en gros « un vrai petit bout de femme». Je le sais maintenant et j’accepte la personne que je suis car je me rends compte enfin que je suis suffisante, que je suis la seule et unique personne qui peut prendre soin de moi-même et qui va faire de mes rêves une réalité. J’ai maintenant récupéré mon pouvoir intérieur de faire de mon mieux pour faire de moi et de mes rêves une priorité.

Un de mes rêves est de vivre assez longtemps pour voir mon île prospérer et se tenir sur ses propres pieds et de rendre mes enfants à naître et mes grands-enfants fiers de m’avoir comme maman et grand-mère. Le Festival de cet été n’est qu’un début et j’espère que mes amis, ma famille et tous les citoyens du monde vont m’aider à réaliser ce rêve. Voici quelques exemples d’événements que nous allons organiser pour enseigner aux enfants un sport pour développer la discipline ou la détermination ou de leur apprendre à jouer un instrument pour développer leur côté artistique.

Dearest readers

In my previous and current role, I get to interview a lot of candidates who often state they are perfectionists, which as an employer I love to hear because I feel this person won’t let me down until the job gets done. But as a person I worry about these people because they might put their mental health at risk to meet the objectives I set them, why?  Because I know very well the price to pay to be a perfectionist: Burn out and Depression.

No one and I repeat no one is perfect and no one should aspire to be. Having said that, we should all aspire to be the best we can be, do our absolute best to make our dreams come true, that should be it. According to Professor Steve Peters, the author of the groundbreaking mind model « The Chimp Paradox », our chimp ( the inherited part of our brain) gets agitated and disruptive whenever one sets an impossible goal to reach. I am aware of that now for having paid the ultimate price twice in a row.

The first time was during my time at RB ( the manufacturers of Nurofen, Durex, Gaviscon, Strepsils, Veet, Clearasil among other brands) when I was tasked  to build a customer service department to deal with over the counter medicines, medical devices as well as cosmetics. I was given a budget to hire 4 people to deliver an excellent customer service on over a thousand products and assist consumers via email, phone or letter. Besides,  I was provided with a brand new system to record and manage all customer contacts.Can you spot the error?  A brand new system, a brand new team and one experienced staff whose mission is to train and motivate staff, meet deadlines to answer all calls, reply all emails and letters within 48 hours and who needs to ensure that all information entered in the recording and managing system is 100% accurate as the pharmaceutical industry is heavily regulated and brand and marketing managers use this information to better tailor their advertising campaigns. Needless to say that as a recovering perfectionist I worked extremely hard for 11 months to build what I believe to be my dream customer service team who sailed through an internal audit to ensure all standard operating procedures were followed to the letter, which is incredibly  important because consumers put their lives in the manufacturers’ hands  every time they use a cosmetic product, a medical device or take some medication. I didn’t have a life for months due to the lack of support and lack of esources. I could only count on myself and 2 other colleagues who kept me focused on I what I do and I know best i.e to motivate staff and get the most out of them, to never deviate from approved standard operating procedures unless someone’s life is at risk. With limited resources, I had to find a survival mechanism to build my ideal customer service department consequently I developed  some coping mechanism to be more resilient, to be extremely organised, to be a creative thinker, to stay calm in difficult situation and to pick the battles worth fighting for, isn’t that great?  I am afraid not given that I put my well-being and mental health at risk due to the lack of sleep as I didn’t sleep properly  for 4 months,  due to exhaustion caused by long hours of driving and long working hours ( doing sometimes 60 hours a week, which exceeds the legal threshold of 48 hours),  due to emotional blackmail from my line manager who kept referring to the numbers of years she has worked there and how well they treated her and the worst was the apparent support from my HR business partner who accommodated my hours, increased my salary to be at the national average, paid hotels to allow me to rest from the long driving hours then as soon as the team became self efficient and passed a very tough internal audit, I became disposable. All my so called privileges i.e flexible working hours and one night at the hotel to rest from long driving hours were immediately removed invoking cost cuts. Before resigning, I fought for my team to get a 2%  salary increase because I found out that my team and I were duped in terms of salary for being one of the lowest salary grades but required to do a very high profile job to be RB ambassadors to protect their image and reputation. Moreover, I made sure all the higher management knew that I built a superb customer service alone against all odds and senior customer service managers were incompetent. Strangely enough there was a redistribution of those managers the day of my departure, bugger I should have stayed!!! Only kidding, I am happy with my current role given the power I have to make a real difference to my staff and to our customers. Besides, I don’t adhere to some of my former employer’s values i.e stretch their staff to the absolute limits because they believe the survival instinct will kick in to help them solve any problems, which is true but illegal!!! This is why HR  never officially communicate to all staff that they purposely hire fewer staff members than they need to make them more resilient and to force them to find different methods of survival to save money as a result it is up to them to know their limits and to stop when they can’t keep up, which is why I handed my notice. I never understood why people have been working there for so long with such a horrible method to get the best out of  their employees but after taking some distance and I had Eureka moment… The best method to get emotional buying in and loyalty from their staff is to incentivise psychologically. It is very efficient and I recommend this method to all companies and managers due to this following principle: people  work for people, not for money!  It is not accidental that RB offers free cold and hot drinks, fresh fruit on a weekly basis, cakes and champagne to celebrate every occasions ( birthdays, good website ratings etc.), amazing Christmas parties in glorious locations and the cherry on the cake is the annual convention taking in places in party-like destinations all expenses included. I used this method to create the very first incentive scheme in my current role to reward the top performer on a monthly basis taking into account all aspects of performance  i.e lateness, absence, sales, team contribution and presentation. The top performer gets to enjoy a spa day or a night at a 5 star hotel, VIP cinema tickets etc. It all depends on how creative I am each month….

My second burned out and depression happened when I joined CDK straight after my  11 eventful months at RB. I was exhausted but it was a new start and as a recovering perfectionist my mind wanted to give my new employer my all but my body just stalled twice in October 2014  and second time in June 2016. Working in a small company gives me freedom to get involved in different areas of the business such as HR ( hiring, training and firing), managing all aspects of sales, I didn’t even like sales but apparently I am pretty good at it! I am also involved in traditional and digital marketing, logistics, customer support, IT support,accounts, budgeting for profit anyway you get the picture! It is fun, extremely rewarding, enriching and stimulating but god it is mentally and physically tiring. I  put myself under a lot of pressure to take  care of all of these areas and to complete all tasks attached to them perfectly even when I don’t have experience in a lot of them. Any « normal »human being would have rested before taking on such a big role and would know that it was impossible to build a top performing and consistent sales team as well as creating a HR function as well as exporting our brands as well as being the perfect wife who cleans, cooks and looks stunning every day. It still hurts me to say that I burned out and I suffered a serious depression.

Some people are going to be shock to find this out here but I am sharing my experience in order to first and foremost to urge you to look after yourselves and to put your needs before anyone’s whether it is a friend’s, a family member’s, a work colleague’s, an employee’s or even an employer’s. I was seriously in danger of harming myself for 6 months because I thought I was not good enough for anyone, not beautiful enough, not caring enough, not intelligent enough and I felt that I have let everybody around me down my parents, my partner, my staff, my friends, my brother Abdou who looks up to me so much and I was ashamed to speak to anyone other than my partner about my internal battles. Bless him, there was very little he could do other than advising me to see a therapist, which I did for 6 weeks. I was ashamed to completely be honest with a professional therefore I felt guilty to spend a lot of money to see him once a week this is why I stopped seeing him.  As I am writing this article, I admit that it did me some good to share some of my problems with a hypnotherapist as he spotted my unhealthy pattern to always want to be good at everything and told me not to be so hard on myself when things don’t go to plan because that’s life. During a role play with him,  I identified  who my real enemy and my best friend are… Myself! I also established what my refuge is  i.e the place I feel safe regardless of what is going on, my girls Moitsou and Chariffa. I immediately booked a ticket to pay  them a visit in Montpellier.  I spent the first 3 weeks of January crying, laughing, reading self help books, meditating, writing my inner thoughts in my Carpe Diem note book,  dancing,eating, shopping, remembering and analysing the dreams I had when I was young in other words healing. I went to see my 14 year GP  who diagnosed that my mental state was bad to enough to prescribe me some anti-depressants, which I took religiously for 3 months.  3 months down the line, I feel re-born and  I feel well enough to share my unsettled time in details  with more friends who as caring friends offer me support and have some thoughtful an motivating words such as : You are a determined, strong, ambitious,beautiful, dynamic, funny, generous, level-headed woman in other words ‘un vrai petit bout de femme ». I now know and accept that I am enough just the way I am and the only person who can take care of me the best and who will make my dreams come true is myself.  I have now reclaimed my inner power to do my utmost best to make myself and my dreams a priority.

One of my dreams is to live long enough to see my island prosper and stand on its own feet and to make my unborn children and my grand-children proud to have me as a mum and grand-mother. This summer’s Festival is just a start and I hope my friends, family and all citizens of the world will help me make that dream come true.

Here are some examples of events we will be organising to teach children a sport to develop discipline or drive or teach them how to play an instrument to develop their artistic side.

Dear readers

Currently on holiday in French Guiana, my childhood friend, her family, all the Guyanese population and I are facing an unprecedented strike with a blockage of all major road, port and airport axes. Just so you know before the beginning of the strike on Monday 20^th March, the French Minister of Environment, Energy and Sea decided to shorten her stay in French Guyana because the collective of the 500 brothers broke into the Cartagena Convention in the presence of 25 foreign representatives (Source from TV channel Guyana Premiere http://la1ere.francetvinfo.fr/guyane/segolene-royal-ecourte-son-sejour-ne-va-pas-inaugurer-pont-oyapock-454369. Html). Our beloved minister became frightened and departed the day before the inauguration of the Oyapock Bridge linking French Guyana to Brazil, which she was supposed to inaugurate on Saturday 18th March. None of the national and international media reported this incident until the situation deteriorated and various trade unions and a part of the Guyanese population mobilized and took to the streets, an Air France Paris Orly flight to Cayenne turn around after 4 hours of flight and that the take-off of a Rocket in Kourou is now postponed to a later date that the media began to take an interest in the problems affecting the whole Guyanese population for years. In addition, schools, colleges, high schools and some administrations are closed until further notice.

What’s more, it took three weeks of strikes and unprecedented violence in Mayotte causing the death of a father of family for the national media to react. As we speak Mayotte has been facing a water shortage for more than 3 months and only the local media inform the local population (source http://la1ere.francetvinfo.fr/crise-sociale-guyane-reveil-medias-nationaux-456617 .html). On the other hand, the media rush to every comical discovery of François Fillon’s private life  one month before the French presidential election.

Would it not be normal to focus on the presidential election candidate’s programs and on how they plan to solve problems that matter to the entire French population, including the Overseas population that is to say employment, social cohesion , education, health, retirement or the media’s favourite subject insecurity?

Sometimes I wonder whether this is a strategy for the media and politics to distract us  while they continue to defend their own interests and to stay in power.
My friends citizens of the world please be committed and continue to use social networks wisely not to be the forgotten of the French Republic. Generally speaking, I am not in favor of strike movements, because in my view, paralyzing the population and the economy is counterproductive and this should be the last resort to obtain what we want and I think that each one of us is more than capable to sit around a table and solve any problem by being realistic that all problems do not settle with magic wand. However, this time I support the Guyanese population because it is the only way to attract the media’s attention and the French authorities by preventing the launch of the rocket in Kourou and restraining all means of transport giving access to French Guyana. Despite this support for my compatriots, I call on all citizens of the world to be mindful and to take an active part into social and political life of our countries before opting for radical often violent measures. This is what we plan to do through the Festival in Mayotte in August.

Chers lecteurs

Actuellement en séjour en Guyane Française, mon amie d’enfance, sa famille, toute la population guyanaise et moi faisons face une grève sans précèdent avec un blocage de tous les axes principaux routiers, portuaires at aéroportuaires. Figurez-vous qu’avant cette grève ce lundi 20 mars, la ministre de l’Environnement, de l’Energie et de la Mer a décidé d’écourter son séjour en Guyane car le collectif des 500 frères a fait irruption en pleine restitution de la convention de Carthagène en présence de 25 représentants étrangers ( source Guyane 1ere http://la1ere.francetvinfo.fr/guyane/segolene-royal-ecourte-son-sejour-ne-va-pas-inaugurer-pont-oyapock-454369.html). Notre chère ministre prit peur et partit la veille de l’inauguration du Pont de l’Oyapock reliant la Guyane au Brésil qu’elle était censée inaugurer. Aucuns média nationaux et internationaux ne reportèrent cet incident et il a fallu que la situation se dégrade et que les différents syndicats et une partie de la population guyanaise se mobilisent et descendent dans les rues, qu’un vol Air France Paris Orly en direction de Cayenne fasse demi-tour au bout de 4 heures de vol et que le décollage de la Fusée à Kourou soit reporté a une date ultérieure pour que les média commencent à s’intéresser aux problèmes qui touchent toute la population guyanaise depuis des années. De plus, les écoles, les collèges, les lycées et certaines administrations sont fermés jusqu’à nouvel ordre.

Par ailleurs, il a fallu 3 semaines de grève et de violences sans précèdent à Mayotte causant la mort d’un père de famille pour que les média nationaux réagissent. Actuellement, Mayotte fait face à une pénurie d’eau depuis plus de 3 mois et seuls les media locaux informent la population locale (source http://la1ere.francetvinfo.fr/crise-sociale-guyane-reveil-medias-nationaux-456617.html). Par contre, les media se précipitent a la moindre découverte cocasse de la vie privée de François Fillon à un mois de l’élection présidentielle française.

Ne serait-il pas normal de se concentrer sur les programmes des candidats à la présidence et sur comment ils envisagent de résoudre les problèmes qui préoccupent toute la population française y compris celle de l’Outre-Mer plus précisément l’emploi, la cohésion sociale, l’éducation, la santé, la retraite ou encore le sujet préféré de tous l’insécurité ?

Parfois je demande si cela ne serait pas une stratégie des media et des politiques pour nous distraire ou alors nous endormir pendant qu’ils continuent à défendre leurs intérêts et surtout à rester au pouvoir.

Mes amis citoyens du monde engagez-vous et continuez à utiliser à utiliser les réseaux sociaux à bon escient pour ne pas être les oubliés de la République française. En général, je ne suis pas en faveur des mouvements de grève car à mes yeux paralyser la population et l’économie est contreproductive et devrait être le dernier recours pour obtenir gain de cause et je pense que chacun et chacune est plus que capable de s’asseoir autour d’une table et résoudre tout problème en étant réaliste que les problèmes ne se règlent pas en coup de baguette magique. Cependant, cette fois-ci je soutiens la population guyanaise parce que c’est le seul moyen d’attirer l’attention des media et des autorités françaises c’est d’empêcher le décollage de la fusée à Kourou, de bloquer tous les moyens de transport permettant l’accès à la Guyane. Malgré ce soutien à mes compatriotes, j’appelle à tous les citoyens du monde d’être bien veillés et de prendre part activement à la vie sociale et politique de nos pays avant de prendre des mesures radicales voir violentes. C’est ce que l’on prévoit de faire à travers le Festival à Mayotte en aout.

Dear Readers

I read a lot of self help books from the Code of Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani, the Happiness Project by  Gretchen Rubin to Lean In by Facebook Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg and all of them treasure gratefulness for it elevates your spirit and makes you realise and appreciate your blessings before trying to acquire new ones.

Now you all know where I was born but you may not know how blessed I am to be born there excluding the weather conditions, gastronomy and culture. Mayotte made a life changing decision by voting to remain French and to be the only island in the Comoros Archipelago to accept « the French domination, which brought so many opportunities and advantages such as economical, financial and political stability. Our grand-parents were right to fight for this because we are one of the richest islands in the area, which understandably causes a huge flux of migration from neighbouring poor countries. If I wasn’t French, I wouldn’t be able to express myself freely on this blog , I wouldn’t have had the education that I had, I wouldn’t have had the chance to explore the world and visit some of the most amazing countries on the planet without having to apply for visas in some cases, I wouldn’t have met incredible people and surely not my partner who is Australian so let’s pause for a moment to mention the amazing men and women who make this life journey wonderful and let’s also mention those who made it painful but worthwhile.

I am going to start by thanking my parents who brought me into this world unintentionally. After their 6th child, my parents didn’t want to have more children therefore my mum was on contraception pill for 3 years and she did not know she was 4 month pregnant until she went to the doctors for a routine check up and for a nagging stomach pain. Fortunately for me, it was past the deadline to have an abortion so she couldn’t get rid of me. Not only was I not the only one who wasn’t supposed to be born but my brothers Abdou, Sidi, Amou and Soifouane and my sister Halima were not supposed to be born either so I helped even the family as there are 6 boys and 6 girls within it, you are most welcome Mum and Dad!

Life was a start of the blessing my parents gave me but most of all they taught me to be a good and caring human being by inculcating some robust values such as love and respect for others, help and support the less fortunate, compassion, drive to succeed through hard work, dignity, pride, freedom to choose the path to be happy and not dictated by peer pressure, society or family members. I don’t think they meant to teach me the last one but that’s the price to pay when they favoured my education and my happiness against traditions and cultures. To be fair, my dad was the one who spotted my potential and nurtured my drive and ambitions by buying me all the necessary tools for school mostly books. He was the one who encouraged me to pursue my higher education in Europe but little did he or I know that I would become a strong, opinionated and modern woman. It is terrifying for a traditionalist dad to admit he is raised that woman but I am sure that he is proud deep down.

On the other hand, my mum knew that there was « a dormant beast »that was awaiting to be awaken so she used all parents’ best weapon known as guilt trip and emotional blackmail and said things like »I am going to be completely lost without you,I may not be alive by the time you come back as I am old and awfully sick. »It is a fact that my mum suffers from serious health conditions with type 2 diabetes and severe asthma, which have been life threatening at times but she has learned to live with them. It broke my heart to leave her on that beautiful and sunny day of 6th September 2002 but I felt it was the right decision for me and my mum has learned to accept, support and respect that decision.

There are more people who are part of my journey, who keep me grounded and who love and care about me regardless of my look and my financial situation namely my friends Chariffa and Moitsou known as « my girls » or « my refuge », they have been by my side through the good and bad times. My childhood friends Laetitia P and Elmir Boudra who I have known and loved for 20 years and who always remind me how far I’ve come and the greatness I can do to the world but not at my own detriment. My friend Soya who is an incredible woman, mother, a great citizen of the world and she is the one who gave me my nickname « Zanou ». My friend Marina Anguiano Sole who unleashed my feminism side and made me aware of my duality as a woman of traditions and modernity at the same time. My Zumba girls ( Fran, Lisa, Julie, Naomie, Dan and Elaine) for making my life in London fun and exciting and for the great boogie nights we have. My younger brother Abdou who has become an amazing man and father after some tough times, he reminds me that life can be unfair at times but you can either blame others or take actions to make your life better this is exactly what he is doing, I am so proud of him. I am happy to count the Adin family ( Laetitia P’s family) as my adopted family and I thank you for making me discover the place I was born.I am so blessed to have Elise as my mother in law who loves, cares for me and protects like a daughter and I thank you for raising a wonderful loving man like Duane ( I will not elaborate here as he has a whole section dedicated to him on this blog).

Professionally speaking I need to give thanks to my high school teacher Benedicte Noguera, who has taught me to persevere and that hard work always pays off no matter how long it takes, to Antony Tiernan who gave me my first break as Personal Assistant when he said the magic words « I think you will do a great job, when can you start? » , to Petri Palento who taught me that true leaders are kind human beings, to Joe Gleeson who taught me to give myself a break and to always look after myself first before looking after others like in the plane « put your mask first before helping someone else next to you to put theirs », to Therese Hegarty who taught me that the human resources division can be human without breaching any employment laws.

I will also give thanks to those who have intentionally and unintentionally hurt me because I got stronger and better. Thanks to my ex  for cheating on me and for dragging me into his mini dictatorial reign disguised in the AEMM ( association of Mahorais students living in Montpellier), which gave me some materials for this blog, made me aware of some of my weaknesses and strengths and that there are different kinds of intelligence i.e you can be intelligent enough to learn a profession but not intelligent enough  or lack courage to use the powerful tool of journalism to hold politicians accountable for the violence, the shortage of water for months and for failing to truly develop Mayotte. I give thanks to all the unconscious incompetent line managers I have had because I can tell the difference between a good and bad manager and to the awful human beings working in human resources departments who are blindly following rules without taking into account our humanity and thanks to you I learn to be firm but fair when dismissing an employee.

Truth to be told, we can make the world a better place if we pause for a moment to count our blessings. This is exactly what we will do during the Festival in August, please come and share your blessings with Tafara, myself and all the guests.

Chers lecteurs
La publication d’hier a été l’une de mes meilleurs articles à ce jour, celui qui a été le plus lu et partagé et les gens ont même pris la peine de laisser un commentaire sur le blog donc merci du fond de mon cœur. Beaucoup de personnes de mon réseau en France et au Royaume-Uni m’ont félicitée pour le brave acte de citoyenneté, mais d’autres m’ont critiquée pour ne pas être pleinement engagée dans la lutte, c’est-à-dire mon manque d’engagement dans la politique.

Mes détracteurs ont souligné le fait que j’avais peur d’être corrompue et m’ont dit que c’était exactement la raison pour laquelle rien ne change et qu’il est possible d’avoir des politiciens décents, honnêtes, consciencieux, dignes de confiance, responsables et capables de favoriser l’intérêt public et national au lieu du leur et j’accepte cette critique. Cependant, je me connais assez bien pour savoir que je ne suis pas encore bien équipée pour être une femme politique et je suis sûre que ce jour viendra mais pas maintenant. Je sais par expérience qu’à chaque fois j’ai pris une décision hâtive, je l’ai soit regrettée, soit en a subi les terribles conséquences. Je suis une fervente croyante que l’apprentissage se fait au quotidien et je crois aussi que rien ne se produit par hasard. Par exemple, pendant mon temps chez Sitel je pensais qu’après avoir été un agent français et anglais au service consommateur de Durex et Scholl, que je méritais d’être promue au poste de Team Manager parce que j’étais la seconde responsable de ma manager quand elle était absente ou occupée dans des réunions ou des formations et soyons claires, j’étais beaucoup plus compétente et qualifiée qu’elle et j’avais également le soutien de l’équipe. Je pensais que mon temps était venu lorsque ma manager a finalement été redistribuée dans un rôle différent, mais devinez quoi ? Je n’ai pas obtenu la promotion et j’ai été tout d’abord dévastée, puis très en colère car j’étais persuadée que c’était injuste que quelqu’un d’autre bénéficie de mon dur travail et dirige l’équipe que j’avais construite.  C’est Petri Palento qui a obtenu le poste de manager et je remercie le bon dieu de son arrivée et d’avoir fait partie de ma vie professionnelle. Je suis très reconnaissante qu’il m’ait appris la patience, à observer et à planifier avant de prendre un décision quelconque, à contrôler ma colère et mon tempérament avec les éléments perturbateurs, les demandeurs d’attention et les jaloux au sein d’une équipe et a toujours être gentille quelle que soit ma situation. 8 mois plus tard après s’être assuré que j’étais prête pour le poste de manager, Petri démissionna et j’atteins mon objectif de devenir une leader digne de ce nom. C’était sympathique et stimulant de diriger une équipe multiculturelle composée de 15 membres du personnel. Cela a été encore plus stimulant lorsque mon équipe a atteint 22 personnes et que mon portefeuille de produits a également augmenté.

Je sais ce que mes détracteurs et partisans pensent « très bien mais pensez-vous que Barack Obama aurait été élu s’il n’était pas rentré dans la vie politique ? » Certes avant de devenir homme politique il était un avocat, un militant et un leader exceptionnel et orateur. De mon point de vue, il y a différentes façons de faire de la politique autre que de faire campagne et d’être élu, nous citoyens pouvons influencer la politique si nous le voulons vraiment. Prenez le «Tea Party» aux États-Unis, Amnesty International, Green Peace  par exemple, ils ne sont pas élus, mais Dieu merci ils se font entendre. À l’ère des réseaux sociaux, nous pouvons faire beaucoup de bien en utilisant cet outil extraordinaire de façon responsable afin de retrouver notre pouvoir et notre liberté d’êtres humains et humanistes, comment ? En favorisant la bonté, l’attention, l’empathie, la compréhension, la compassion, l’amour, la paix afin d’éliminer toutes formes de haine comme la haine contre les Noirs, contre les femmes, contre les homosexuels, contre les Juifs, contre les Musulmans, contre les transsexuels, contre les pauvres et les riches et ainsi de suite en d’autres termes contre n’importe quoi ou n’importe qui différents de nous. L’histoire a justifié ces formes de haine économiquement, politiquement, religieusement, socialement et géopolitiquement mais pourquoi autant de haine ? Cela est apparemment dû à la peur de l’inconnu mais je pense que c’est parce que nous ne nous aimons pas assez, nous n’acceptons pas nos échecs, nos faiblesses, notre misère et comme mécanisme de défense nous blâmons les autres de notre malheur, ce qui est beaucoup plus facile que de prendre la responsabilité de nos propres problèmes et actions.

Certes, il y a beaucoup de problèmes difficiles et complexes à Mayotte, mais personne ne va les résoudre à notre place. Nous pouvons écrire des livres ou des blogs, mais les actions sont plus fortes que les mots. J’ai lu ce matin sur Facebook que Mayotte est l’enfant malheureux et mal aimé de la République française et je suis partiellement d’accord avec cette affirmation, mais les Mahorais ont besoin de se prendre en charge et d’être responsables de leur propre destinée plutôt que d’attendre le gouvernement français pour apporter les solutions sur un plateau doré. Commençons par s’aimer, accepter notre héritage comme ancienne colonie et comme faisant partis de l’archipel des Comores, accepter et respecter nos différences et imperfections. Arrêtons de se plaindre de la situation, d’empêcher les personnes instruites et /ou qualifiées de vivre et de travailler à Mayotte, d’isoler ou de considérer les gens qui critiquent le système comme des ennemis, d’embaucher un membre de sa famille au lieu de quelqu’un compétent, de se sentir inférieurs du fait d’être noirs et musulmans, de penser que les gens qui critiquent une partie de nos coutumes comme par exemple la polygamie ou les mariages ridiculement chers ne sont pas fiers d’être Mahorais.

Ces sujets seront intégrés au Festival en août et nous espérons que nous aurons beaucoup de supporters pour faire de cet événement un succès. Nous avons besoin non seulement d’un soutien financier, mais aussi de bénévoles, d’artistes (chanteurs, danseurs, joueurs d’instruments de musique, créateurs de mode), d’interventions de différents types d’entrepreneurs et de professionnels (cuisiniers, couturiers, jardiniers, journalistes, pharmaciens, Infirmières, aide-soignants, travailleurs sociaux, constructeurs, hôtesses de l’air, traducteurs, enseignants, PDG, etc.)

Rappelons-nous que tout être humain peut contribuer à rendre notre avenir brillant.

Dear Readers

Yesterday’s publication was one of my best articles so far, the one that was most read and shared and the one people bothered to comment on so thank you from the bottom of my heart. Many people in my network in France and in the UK congratulated me for the brave act of citizenship but others criticized me for not being fully engaged in the fight i.e becoming a politician. My detractors underlined the fact that I was terrified of being corrupt and they said this was exactly why nothing changes because  politicians should be able to be decent, honest,conscientious, trustworthy, accountable and should be able to favour the interest of the people who elected him or her before his or her own interests, I accept that. However, I know myself well enough to know that I am not yet equipped to be  a politician and I am sure that day will come but not now. I know from experience that every time that I made a decision in the heat of the moment, I either regretted it or suffered some terrible consequences. I am a fervent believer that we live and learn and I also believe that nothing happens by accident.For instance, during my time at Sitel I felt after 6 months of being a French and English agent that I deserved to be promoted as Team Manager because I was my manager’s second in charge when she was absent or busy in meetings or trainings and let’s be clear I was way competent and qualified than her and  I had the team’s support. I thought my time had come when my direct line manager was finally re-distributed in a different role but guess what? I did not get the promotion and I was devastated at first then very angry as I believed it was not fair for someone else to benefit from my hard work and to run the team that I had built. Along came Petri Palento, the replacement manager whom I am so grateful for. Grateful for teaching me patience, to observe and plan before making any decision, to control my anger and my temper with trouble makers, attention seekers and jealous staff members and to always always be kind regardless of my circumstances. 8 months later after ensuring that I was ready for the job, Petri resigned and I got the job. It was fun and challenging to lead a multicultural team of 15  staff members, it got even more challenging when my team grew to 22 staff and my portfolio of products grew as well.

I know what my detractors and supporters are thinking « this is great but do you think that Barack Obama would have been elected if he didn’t enter politics? » True but he was a lawyer, an activist and an exceptional leader and orator before joining politics. From my point of view, there are different ways of doing politics other than campaigning and getting elected, we citizens can influence politics if we really want to. Take the « Tea Party »in the United States, Amnesty International, Green Peace for examples, they don’t get elected but god they make sure they get heard. In the era of social media, I believe we can do a lot of good by using this amazing tool responsibly in order to reclaim our power and freedom to be humans and humanist, how?  By promoting kindness, mindfulness, empathy, understanding, compassion, love, peace in order to eliminate different kinds of hatred such as hatred against black people, against women, against homosexuals, against Jewish, against Muslims,against transsexuals, against poor and rich people and so on in other words against anything or anyone we are not familiar with. History has justified these types of hatred economically, politically, religiously, socially and geo-politically but why or Lord why so much hatred? This is apparently due to the fear of the « Unknown » but I think it is because we don’t love ourselves enough, we don’t accept our deceptions, our failures, our weaknesses, our misery and as a defense mechanism we blame others, which is a lot easier than taking responsibility of your own problems.

Yes there are many difficult and complex issues in Mayotte but no one will solve them for us.We can write books or blogs but actions speak louder than words. I read this morning on Facebook that Mayotte is the  troubled and unloved child of the French Republic and I partially agree with this statement but the Mahorais need to « man up »and take charge of their own destiny rather than awaiting the French Government to hand them the solutions on a golden plate. Let’s start by loving ourselves, accepting our heritage as a former colony and as being part of the Comoros archipelago, accepting and respecting our differences and imperfections. Let’s stop winging about the situation, making it difficult for educated and/or qualified people to live and work in Mayotte, isolating or labeling people criticising the system as enemies, hiring a member of family instead of someone competent, feeling inferior because we are black and Muslim, believing that people who criticise part of our customs such as Polygamy or the ludicrously expensive  weddings are not proud of being Mahorais.

These topics will be embedded into the Festival in August and we hope we will have many supporters to make this event successful. Not only do we need financial support but we also need volunteers, artists ( singers, dancers, players of any musical instruments, fashion designers), interventions of different kinds of entrepreneurs and professionals ( cooks, gardeners, journalists,pharmacists, doctors, surgeons, nurses, healthcare assistants, social workers, builders, air hostesses, translators, teachers, CEOs etc…)

Remember that any human being can make our future bright.